My biggest Weaknesses (Right Now)

After staying in Bukittinggi for almost three weeks, I have realized that so many lacks in my capability to diagnose patients. Especially about appendicitis.The patient I have mentioned you before was not having any operation. It was an infiltrat appendicitis. Thank God I have my consultant besides me. This happened because Maybe I am still young in surgery and less experience. And God seems training me to improve my capability. I have two patients of Infiltrat Appendicitis now and during this three days I got five consultations of Suspicious Acute Appendicitis..Thanks God!
Today is Surgery Department's day to have an operation in RSAM operation theater. Our days are wednesday and thursday. My consultant gave me a chance to do an open prostatectomy! I was really shock and suddenly I felt very nervous that I couldn't control my scalpel and scissors. He took his position again to be an operator and finished the operation..
Tonight there will be an open prostatectomy again. This will be the 5th operation I've ever involved. I believe, next time he will leave me and let me do alone..
He said, open prostatectomy is a simple operation if we compare to an appendectomy..So he believes I can do that.
But still it's hard for me to control the bleeding. In appendectomy the bleeding is not as much as in Prostatectomy.
Yesterday, during an operation of bowel resection, he asked me if I have done a bowel anastomose. I answered, I haven't done yet. And he did the anastomose. But I have a strong confidence one day he will let me doing that thing...WOW!
The thing I did this morning was an excision of FAM, a benign tumour of a breast.
And I am happy I am doing this.
Before the operation, my consultant said that I have to train myself to work faster. Because the style of working today will be your style of working in the future. I keep his words in my heart.
During the operation, the nurse said something about my senior, YZ, MD.
Firstly she said, Doctor Jini, remember your consultant words..The I answered, Yes, I keep those in my heart.
Again she asked me, Do you know "BRS?"
"BRS who?"
"Barasiah (Minang word for clean) man.."
"Pardon, who?"
"Yevri.."
"Oh, Da yev.."
"He always said.."BARASIAH"..but actually what he did is always barasiah..You have to imitate his style and fast in working too.."
"hmm..yes. Of course"

Of course I always try to imitate the good things from my seniors. Always.
One day, one of my seniors, MI, MD, who is a surgeon now and take a special training of digestive surgery, called me. My friend made a mistake and we got his call.
He talked so many things.
But something in his words that I always remember until this now.
"You know, I always force myself to study an hour everyday. Even when I felt very tired. If I feel fresh, I'll study more than an hour".

Something that easily to speak, but hardly to practice.
I have stayed here for almost three weeks, but maybe I just read my books for15-30 minutes in a day. Sometimes nothing, because I was very tired.
This, again is my weaknesses.
My path to be a surgeon is still far away..
I hope I can get better and better everyday.

I got one sms from Oma, my friend yesterday. She had arrived in Aceh. I never reply hers, since I was having an operation.
I also have visited Yos' new blog.
Omedetou for your blog.
And Lucky not being arrested by Syariah's Police..
Hehe..

Hey, there's a call again!
(The hospital...)
Sorry guys, next time will be continue.